It's Girl Scout cookie order form time, which always fills our household with a great deal of anticipation -- and a little bit of frustration. While the cookies are mostly delicious, each year I feel a profound sadness, because I see more parents and less Girl Scouts trying to sell me cookies. In fact, I'd guess it's been three years since I've seen a Scout at my work cubicle with an order form. Am I the only one who thinks the Girl Scouts are getting soft?

Of course many parents of Scouts who are reading this already have their fists in a ball, because they have the one daughter who works like Jack Lemmon in "Glengarry Glen Ross" to get the Trefoils out the door. So let's be clear: This isn't directed at you. But for all the other slackers out there, I'm proposing this Girl Scout cookie customer Bill of Rights. I'm not sure what kind of punishment will be attached, but it has to be something stiff, and the parents will serve the sentence. (Do the Girl Scouts have a court-martial?)

Amendment I: Prohibition of parents selling cookies. Call me old fashioned, but when I buy Girl Scout cookies I want to see an actual Girl Scout. Preferably in uniform. I understand the need for parents to chaperone, but I'm always internally annoyed when a friend or colleague approaches me (or worse yet, sends an e-mail) with an order form, and no child in sight. Double the annoyance if a real Girl Scout doesn't drop off the boxes, either. I hated selling stuff as a kid, but it was a valuable lesson about responsibility and communication in the adult world.

Take your kid out of school for an hour or two so they can approach people at your work. Chaperone them every step of the way when they're knocking on strangers' doors. Drive to a much nicer neighborhood where you're not afraid to go door-to-door. (The hills will be good exercise!) But outside of a broken leg, I'll accept very few excuses for parents selling cookies for their children.

Amendment II: Protection from Thin Mint and Samoa shortages. I love to see the kids with their parents set up in BART stations and in front of local grocery stores. But the charming picture is too-often ruined as I discover pyramids of boring shortbread cookies, and not a single Samoa in sight. Last year there appeared to be a West Coast shortage of Thin Mints, and I'm surprised it didn't lead to rioting. The lesson here: Unless you want youre children to see a grown man cry, stock up on the good cookies.

Amendment III: Right to eat cookies with trans fat. Girl Scout cookies are perfect the way they are, so please stop messing with the recipe. After removing the trans fats last year, the cookies were maybe 15 percent less delicious. I'm scared that the next step on this runaway political correctness train is to make the cookies organic, or start selling boxes of raisins. We promise to eat really, really well the rest of the year! Leave the cookies alone!

Amendment IV: The power to buy 15 boxes in a week. When all the talking heads on the cable shows talk about econimic stimulus, I'm surprised no one brings up the bump our country is about to get from Girl Scout cookies. Bosses need to be flexible about letting kids sell at the workplace. And if we're going to force the Girl Scouts to sell cookies face-to-face, then we have to buy the product. Assuming you aren't about to lose your house, it's your responsibility to clear out some freezer space (Thin Mints are better frozen!) and buy at least one box from every Girl Scout who comes to your cubicle or door.